I have so many things going through my head it is playing havoc on my anxiety.
One question is sitting with me at the moment at what stage do we cut toxic people out of our lives?
Do we fear letting go out people due to the fact we indeed fear of being alone.
Does there toxic company satisfy our needs that we aren't in fact alone physically - even their lack of empathy and emotion. This is something I struggle with daily.
I myself am guilty of the below quote.
What I need to learn is how to develop self care and learn to be on my own. But the pressure of society to have the white picket fence and to keep up with Jones' is huge - now throw in a chronic illness . It doesn't work. Something will break. In which I have broken personally many times and I was able to pick the pieces up thankfully.
I am 35 years old and what does the future hold for me? Who knows? Do I have many friends left? Not really... Is my family supporting and understanding ? Somewhat. Am I constantly having to prove to people that there is something wrong with me YES. I shouldn't have to seek approval. If you don't understand then you can plainly fuck off.
I know that many people suffer from anxiety and depression yet are scared to go see someone - to get some form of help. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't think people are going to look at you strange because if they do, they actually have the problem not you.
I am determined to find myself again. You know what I will.
Blackbird.
