Relationships and Chronic Illness

I feel this is something close to my heart.




Not that I have had many relationships but there seems to be a common pattern with relationships and chronic illness.




Through talking to people and those are in marriages, relationships and also are single it seems that there is a common theme.




Being sick do we attract a personality type? It seems through talking to people that we often end up with narcissistic personalities and end up hanging on for dear life.




I have heard both sides of the coin where relationships last and there are supporting partners out there and then there are partners who aren't tolerant of anything and also use the feeding mechanism of keeping you there.


Imagine this - its like we are a little bird in a cage with no food. We are starved our wing is clipped so we cannot fly. We hop around the cage wondering when are going to get fed. Then we find a button, this button if we press it a pellet drops and feeds us. We press it again... nothing comes out so we wait for a pellet to be fed and keep pressing until something drops out. This my friends is .... Intermittent Reinforcement - Intermittent Reinforcement is when rules, rewards or personal boundaries are handed out or enforced inconsistently and occasionally. This usually encourages another person to keep pushing until they get what they want from you without changing their own behaviour. I feel that because of the way we are it is something we may get stuck in. I have been stuck in it before and many of you no doubt have. Our confidence gets crushed - we are on this rollercoaster of emotions.


In the end we need someone that can support us emotionally. But what it comes down to is self LOVE. We have to be happy with ourselves. One book that I am reading at the moment is Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Pick it up and have a read if you are going through anything like this.


All I can say in this post is try and rid yourself of toxic - relationships and friends. Your health will come in leaps and bounds. I have to listen to this but yet to implement it.


That's all for now - Blackbird